I don’t have a problem – YOU have a problem: When feedback fails

Have you ever given feedback to someone coming away with the feeling that it actually made things worse? It could be a matter of tool selection.

A friend of mine, let’s call him Michael, had the following experience some time ago in a regular standup meeting. During the standup, Michael noticed that there were a few features that were ready to deploy to customers, but nobody on the team took on the task. Michael got increasingly uneasy. Finally, before the meeting ended, he asked: “Have you noticed that there are a few features waiting to go out? So who will deploy those?” Nobody answered. Instead, one of the team members, Karen, sighed and rolled her eyes. Michael was lost for words. He felt confused, embarrassed and a bit insulted.

In this situation, many people would ignore what happened, hoping the situation will resolve itself. Sometimes it does, but often the resentment remains under the surface, leading to other symptoms, like unwillingness to help, passive aggressiveness, cynicism or similar dysfunctions. Better to attack the issue head on.